The grass is only greener on the other side of the fence because you fail to nurture your own lawn.
So today at church we had a talent show and one of the kids did the talent of telling jokes and he set up a joke “what do you call a duck with fangs” and one of the little kids shouted “A FUCK!” and I almost died.
What DO you call a duck with fangs?
Count Quackula
(via confirmance)
I was looking at selfie sticks on amazon and i think this review is so sweet and cute
(via humorrelated)
(via thebootydiaries)
The USA are a hellscape
this whole fucking post reads like satire but its not
big yikes
(via civilwhore)
Jelly fish just do their own fuckass thing
cut out all your nerves and chuck them in the sea and see how fucking productive it becomes
what do you want them to do, fucking taxes?
You mistake my comment for anger, when in reality, I deeply respect them as my friends
(via isaac)
When your pet adjusts their position so they can lay their head on you
(via humorrelated)
